TheBeast
10-06-2007, 01:09 PM
PAIN IS WHAT I AM…
A DEVELOPING SUICIDAL PROPENSITY
The scars that bind
Out hearts together
Are woven deep within my being
Reaching to the very depths
Of this black soul of mine
Your blood
The taste of which
Stays fresh upon my lips
Rejuvenates my passion and intensity
It's as if I am biting down upon your lips
As I scribble down psychotic ravings
Tasting those luscious full lips
Breaking the soft, supple skin
Tasting the blood as it touches my tongue
Blood that tastes as sweet as honey itself
Gazing into your eyes
As I indulge these fiery lips
I see the fire that burns within your eyes
Each and every time our lips touch
I see the ecstasy reflected within them
As the pain from your lips worsen
As your lips begin to throb
Pulsating and bleeding uncontrollably
Wanting so desperately
To feel the softness of your skin
To watch you
To feel you
To sense and taste you
As I caress those enticing lips
Your body beginning to shake
With each touch of my hand
Your mind drifts further and further
Falls deeper and deeper
Under my control, my influence
You’re ALL MINE
I feel your fear
Taste it upon my very soul
You fear the evil
You fear what this Beast can do to you
But this Beast
He has no fear
He fears no Evil
For he is all that is Evil
Every inch of his body
Is driven by the hand of Satan
His heart, untouchable
As hard as rock
And as cold as ice
His soul, merciless
Deep…Dark… Lost
At times I feel my demons control me
Leading me, urging me to destroy all feeling
At times I feel the spirit of an Angel
Gripping tightly to my soul
Wanting to drag me out of my darkness
But this addiction to pain
Seems just over powering
You probably think that you know pain
That you have felt it, tasted it
Reality wise…
You have no idea what pain is
You’ll realize this quickly
The moment my hand reaches in
And grabs hold of your heart
You will know what pain truly is
You will feel it…
In all its sensational beauty
Call it my trademark
Call it the reason why I’m more than an addiction
So much more
I’m an affliction of the strongest kind
An affliction that shows you no mercy
To know pain is to know intensity
To have tasted the ultimate pleasure
Something that you would gladly give your all for
Just for a little taste, just one more time
Something you will tell yourself everyday
How can something that gives you so much pain
Also provide you with pleasure beyond belief
Trust me when I tell you
This feeling you will know well
It will become a part of you
Growing to define you
Though you are helpless to prevent it
Ask yourself, would you want to?
All your deepest desires
I will make a reality
Nothing you feel or want to feel
Will ever go unfulfilled
There simply is no other being
That can control you as I can
Not once in my life
Had I ever felt a sense of belonging
Always felt like an alien to my surroundings
Regardless of the girl that was beside me
No matter what she allowed me to do
All the depravities that my mind may conjure
Still
The feeling was there
This thing was not me
It was not who I was or even wanted to be
And I was never where I wanted to be
Nor with whom I wanted to be
All that I ever had, could lay claim to
All that I truly considered mine
All that I knew was a part of me
That belonged to me and me alone
Was the ruthless feeling of utter emptiness
A feeling that grew uncontrollably
Day by day…
Month by month…
Year by year…
The empty feeling inside me
Is all that I considered as mine
All that I felt truly belonged to me
I would love to say
That this Beast needs you not
For he has his pick of flesh
Nor does he want you
For his fill of prey need never go unsatisfied
So why is it…
That I can’t seem to get you
Out of this twisted mind
A mind that continually
Echoes with the sweetest sound
That it has ever been subjected to
A sound so enchanting
A sound so alluring
A sound that could only be called Angelic
The sound of your voice, calling my name
My name, which I hate so much
Has never sounded so beautiful
As when it come from those gorgeous lips
I feel my whole body shivering
Every time I hear you call me
It has come to the point
Where no matter who is calling me
All I hear
Is my Angel’s sweet voice
As it drives me insane
Days have passed
Misery setting in, deep within me
Emptiness like never before
Have I lost the only person
That ever made this Beast feel whole again
Had I managed to lose the only one
That managed to control me
Even on the simplest level
The only girl
That built a sense of belief
Within this doubt ridden animal
A faith in the unseen
Faith in what I feel
A feeling I once called imaginary
Still, now I know it is real
It exists, even if not visible
Years if deceiving myself
Hiding behind this animal
Hiding so successfully that I began to believe
That all I was
That all I could be
Was an emotionless monster
Mean, Cruel, Nasty, Deceitful
I believed it all
Believed to such an extent
That all my relationships
Began to reflect my self-worth
I had lost something
Something that is far more valuable
Than anything that I had ever received in return
I had lost myself
The very person that I once was
Has developed into a bottomless pit
A pit I know now as my black, merciless soul
This little black book
That lay before my eyes
Full of faceless memories
Memories which seem to intensify my sadness
So many damn memories
So much history
All meaningless in the end
Not one
Not a single solitary memory
Not a single solitary face or name
Not even one of the countless relationships
That I seemed to destroy from the outset
Nothing has ever made me truly happy
Every single moment
That I spend in this horrid existence
Is absolute torture
Every minute that I spend
In which I can’t see you
In which I can’t hear you
In which I can’t touch or feel you
Is an eternity spent in the fiery grips of hell
Plain and simple torture
Pain unlike anything else
You think you know what pain is?
You have no idea
You would barely be able to fathom
How horrendous true pain really is
When it reaches a point
At which the pain becomes so numbing
That you simply cease to feel anything at all
Then and only then
Will the realization of the true meaning
Circulate within your mind
The meaning of life
The meaning of death
Neither life, nor death
Have any meaning whatsoever
If both aren’t shared
With the one who fulfils you
Fulfils every one of your voids
A life spent in vain
If spent without you
A death empty of passion
A death void of soul
A death in which I just give up
Let the darkness fully take back control
A death with be pointless
If not by your sweet and tender hands
You gaze upon this pale, lifeless face
Drawn into the blackest of eyes imaginable
Eyes which can only be characterized as the Devil’s
What hides behind these eyes, simply stated
Is pure, unadulterated Evil
So, do you know?
Can you tell me what pain is?
Have you felt pain so intolerable,
That can only be compared
To the fiery pits of Satan’s playground
I feel the change growing within me
Drawing me back to what I once was
I left open my heart, just once
Left myself completely vulnerable
But never again
Never again will this Beast
Allow me to care for any girl
Beyond the use, abuse and discard ethic
That I became so accustomed to
What you have started my love
The Beast has now finished
The man is no more
What was ay one point, a manimal,
Something part Beast, part man
Is nothing more than a monster now
The darkest of souls has returned
The light that once shined so brightly
As been extinguished forever
Behind the shadows, lurks all that is evil
And, my love
You will feel all of its glory
You shall see it
I will make sure
That you taste every drop of my evil
A DEVELOPING SUICIDAL PROPENSITY
The scars that bind
Out hearts together
Are woven deep within my being
Reaching to the very depths
Of this black soul of mine
Your blood
The taste of which
Stays fresh upon my lips
Rejuvenates my passion and intensity
It's as if I am biting down upon your lips
As I scribble down psychotic ravings
Tasting those luscious full lips
Breaking the soft, supple skin
Tasting the blood as it touches my tongue
Blood that tastes as sweet as honey itself
Gazing into your eyes
As I indulge these fiery lips
I see the fire that burns within your eyes
Each and every time our lips touch
I see the ecstasy reflected within them
As the pain from your lips worsen
As your lips begin to throb
Pulsating and bleeding uncontrollably
Wanting so desperately
To feel the softness of your skin
To watch you
To feel you
To sense and taste you
As I caress those enticing lips
Your body beginning to shake
With each touch of my hand
Your mind drifts further and further
Falls deeper and deeper
Under my control, my influence
You’re ALL MINE
I feel your fear
Taste it upon my very soul
You fear the evil
You fear what this Beast can do to you
But this Beast
He has no fear
He fears no Evil
For he is all that is Evil
Every inch of his body
Is driven by the hand of Satan
His heart, untouchable
As hard as rock
And as cold as ice
His soul, merciless
Deep…Dark… Lost
At times I feel my demons control me
Leading me, urging me to destroy all feeling
At times I feel the spirit of an Angel
Gripping tightly to my soul
Wanting to drag me out of my darkness
But this addiction to pain
Seems just over powering
You probably think that you know pain
That you have felt it, tasted it
Reality wise…
You have no idea what pain is
You’ll realize this quickly
The moment my hand reaches in
And grabs hold of your heart
You will know what pain truly is
You will feel it…
In all its sensational beauty
Call it my trademark
Call it the reason why I’m more than an addiction
So much more
I’m an affliction of the strongest kind
An affliction that shows you no mercy
To know pain is to know intensity
To have tasted the ultimate pleasure
Something that you would gladly give your all for
Just for a little taste, just one more time
Something you will tell yourself everyday
How can something that gives you so much pain
Also provide you with pleasure beyond belief
Trust me when I tell you
This feeling you will know well
It will become a part of you
Growing to define you
Though you are helpless to prevent it
Ask yourself, would you want to?
All your deepest desires
I will make a reality
Nothing you feel or want to feel
Will ever go unfulfilled
There simply is no other being
That can control you as I can
Not once in my life
Had I ever felt a sense of belonging
Always felt like an alien to my surroundings
Regardless of the girl that was beside me
No matter what she allowed me to do
All the depravities that my mind may conjure
Still
The feeling was there
This thing was not me
It was not who I was or even wanted to be
And I was never where I wanted to be
Nor with whom I wanted to be
All that I ever had, could lay claim to
All that I truly considered mine
All that I knew was a part of me
That belonged to me and me alone
Was the ruthless feeling of utter emptiness
A feeling that grew uncontrollably
Day by day…
Month by month…
Year by year…
The empty feeling inside me
Is all that I considered as mine
All that I felt truly belonged to me
I would love to say
That this Beast needs you not
For he has his pick of flesh
Nor does he want you
For his fill of prey need never go unsatisfied
So why is it…
That I can’t seem to get you
Out of this twisted mind
A mind that continually
Echoes with the sweetest sound
That it has ever been subjected to
A sound so enchanting
A sound so alluring
A sound that could only be called Angelic
The sound of your voice, calling my name
My name, which I hate so much
Has never sounded so beautiful
As when it come from those gorgeous lips
I feel my whole body shivering
Every time I hear you call me
It has come to the point
Where no matter who is calling me
All I hear
Is my Angel’s sweet voice
As it drives me insane
Days have passed
Misery setting in, deep within me
Emptiness like never before
Have I lost the only person
That ever made this Beast feel whole again
Had I managed to lose the only one
That managed to control me
Even on the simplest level
The only girl
That built a sense of belief
Within this doubt ridden animal
A faith in the unseen
Faith in what I feel
A feeling I once called imaginary
Still, now I know it is real
It exists, even if not visible
Years if deceiving myself
Hiding behind this animal
Hiding so successfully that I began to believe
That all I was
That all I could be
Was an emotionless monster
Mean, Cruel, Nasty, Deceitful
I believed it all
Believed to such an extent
That all my relationships
Began to reflect my self-worth
I had lost something
Something that is far more valuable
Than anything that I had ever received in return
I had lost myself
The very person that I once was
Has developed into a bottomless pit
A pit I know now as my black, merciless soul
This little black book
That lay before my eyes
Full of faceless memories
Memories which seem to intensify my sadness
So many damn memories
So much history
All meaningless in the end
Not one
Not a single solitary memory
Not a single solitary face or name
Not even one of the countless relationships
That I seemed to destroy from the outset
Nothing has ever made me truly happy
Every single moment
That I spend in this horrid existence
Is absolute torture
Every minute that I spend
In which I can’t see you
In which I can’t hear you
In which I can’t touch or feel you
Is an eternity spent in the fiery grips of hell
Plain and simple torture
Pain unlike anything else
You think you know what pain is?
You have no idea
You would barely be able to fathom
How horrendous true pain really is
When it reaches a point
At which the pain becomes so numbing
That you simply cease to feel anything at all
Then and only then
Will the realization of the true meaning
Circulate within your mind
The meaning of life
The meaning of death
Neither life, nor death
Have any meaning whatsoever
If both aren’t shared
With the one who fulfils you
Fulfils every one of your voids
A life spent in vain
If spent without you
A death empty of passion
A death void of soul
A death in which I just give up
Let the darkness fully take back control
A death with be pointless
If not by your sweet and tender hands
You gaze upon this pale, lifeless face
Drawn into the blackest of eyes imaginable
Eyes which can only be characterized as the Devil’s
What hides behind these eyes, simply stated
Is pure, unadulterated Evil
So, do you know?
Can you tell me what pain is?
Have you felt pain so intolerable,
That can only be compared
To the fiery pits of Satan’s playground
I feel the change growing within me
Drawing me back to what I once was
I left open my heart, just once
Left myself completely vulnerable
But never again
Never again will this Beast
Allow me to care for any girl
Beyond the use, abuse and discard ethic
That I became so accustomed to
What you have started my love
The Beast has now finished
The man is no more
What was ay one point, a manimal,
Something part Beast, part man
Is nothing more than a monster now
The darkest of souls has returned
The light that once shined so brightly
As been extinguished forever
Behind the shadows, lurks all that is evil
And, my love
You will feel all of its glory
You shall see it
I will make sure
That you taste every drop of my evil